Best-laid plans

I believe it was Robert Burns who coined the saying about the best-laid plans of mice and men often going awry. John Steinbeck borrowed part of it for his “Of Mice and Men.”

Not that I’m trying to compare myself to these literary greats (yet), but I can definitely say that the best-laid plans for my vacation went way off track.

I had two whole weeks off work. I planned to shop for my GH awards ceremony dress, work on fixing my finalist MS so it’s ready for a judge request and do some plotting (and maybe even write new material) for Dave and Melinda’s story.

Only one of those things got done. I found a dress. That was it — I didn’t even get matching shoes or the proper undergarments. In two weeks of not having to go to the day job, the revising, plotting and writing just didn’t happen.

I spent a lot of quality time with the Boyfriend — and spent even more in the kitchen, whipping up delicious Atkins-approved meals. (I recommitted to a low-carb diet while on vacation.) On days the Boyfriend left to work or play tennis, I spent more time playing online than working.

I did actually sit down to rewrite once or twice, but didn’t spend long enough with the MS to get much accomplished.

As you can tell, I also ignored the blog. My last post was written on May 2. May 2? How am I going to build an audience if I only blog every two weeks?

I promise to start doing better, y’all — both with my writing AND the blogging. I want to write for a living … it shouldn’t be this hard.

Shopping success

Too bad it’s not this easy to win the lottery.

Wait a minute. Did I just say easy? I’d hardly call three shopping trips in search of the perfect awards ceremony dress easy.

On two separate Friday mornings, I hit six stores in Flagstaff. Unfortunately, I didn’t find much — one extremely expensive (and beautiful) gown.  Since I didn’t want to pay $300 for a gown I didn’t completely LOVE, I headed to Phoenix on Saturday.

Bigger city, more places to shop … and better prices, right?

Thank goodness that did, indeed, turn out to be the case. I visited three stores in Phoenix — a store in the mall and two bridal shops.

What is it about bridal shops? At the first one, all the dresses — even the supposedly huge ones — were too small. (The same thing happened on Friday at the bridal shop in Flagstaff. Dresses that, as size 3X, should have fit me … didn’t. I couldn’t even zip the darn things.)

I had better luck at David’s Bridal. I tried on several gorgeous dresses before deciding the one I liked best made my butt look big. It’s big enough already — it doesn’t need help from the dress.

In the end, I headed back to the mall and bought the very first dress I tried on Saturday morning. Keep in mind, this was after a day of driving all over Phoenix, looking for something I liked better. (At least I had a chauffeur. My roommate went with me, and her husband tagged along to go to Lumber Liquidators. He drove.)

GH gown. Obviously, I'll be wearing a different bra — and taking off the chunky black watch. And doing something with my hair.

This beauty was $165 — and I got a discount because some of the beads/sequins are loose and need to be tacked down. I was able to pay for a couple of pairs of shorts for this summer with the savings.

Even better, it matches my blog. I was looking for a purple or red dress in keeping with my blog banner. Success! 😉

The savings didn’t stop there, though. This same store was selling cocktail dresses buy one, get one for $1, so I spent $55 on two short dresses to wear during other conference events. I believe there’s some kind of party one night.

Looking at the photo, I see I need to start toning my arms, though. Shake Weight, here I come! 😉

Paid to have a dirty mind?

I just read — and enjoyed — Christina Dodd’s blog post on her funniest mistakes. My personal favorite from her list:

In INTO THE SHADOW, my heroine stumbles onto the hero sitting in the Japanese garden. He jumps to his feet and says, “Is this your private place? Should I leave?” and she says, “No, it’s okay, my private place is big enough for the both of us.”

I can’t think of any doozies like that in my own writing. Perhaps that’s why I haven’t sold yet — I haven’t caught those big, hilarious mistakes. Maybe there are agents out there, reading something I wrote and laughing their @s$es off.

That’s a little sad, actually, because I get paid — not the big bucks, but a few bucks — to catch errors like that before they make it to print. Yep. You heard correctly: As a copy editor, I get paid to have a dirty mind.

It started in college. When we were putting together our “welcome back” issue of the Crescent, I remember much debate on correct wording for a headline on the new “No Parking” signs on campus.

It was 16 or more years ago, so I don’t recall exactly what we said, but discussion amongst us editors went something like this:

“You can’t say ‘erected.’ That’s dirty.”

“Well, ‘Mounted’ is out, too.”

Eventually, we settled on “posted.” But not before cracking many jokes about erecting and mounting various items. I believe that was the same issue for which our photographer snapped a picture of someone on the groundskeeping crew holding a hose in what appeared to be a compromising position.

Newsrooms actually provide great fodder for the dirty-minded. I’ll never forget a headline that ran in my old paper’s sports section: “Bigger balls don’t slow pros.” (The story had something to do with tennis players. I don’t know if the sports editor thought he was being clever or he just didn’t notice. Back then, I was just a reporter, and not privy to the ins and outs of headline writing.)

A few other funny headlines, intentional or not:

  • I remember thinking ‘Oh my God, it’s huge’ (on a story commemorating the anniversary of a giant tornado)
  • Lady Jacks off to good start (a college newspaper on their women’s basketball team, I believe. That one made Jay Leno’s show, if I remember right.)

If you’re on Facebook, check out “Overheard in the Newsroom.” There are some doozies sure to make you laugh.

Now it’s time to cough it up: Have you ever stumbled on a hilarious headline? Or a funny mistake in your own manuscript?

Two rejections in two days

Now I remember why I’m so glad to be off the dating scene. Rejection hurts. A lot.

I’m sure I’m not the only one to equate the search for an agent to the search for Mr. Right — but it’s an apt comparison.

You try to make a good impression on your dream man/agent. If — against all odds — a connection is made, you hope he feels the same spark you do. If not? The big “R.”

Rejection. You might feel worthless. You probably question your appeal … your talents as a writer.

I ought to know, having just received two agent rejections in two days. (Being a Golden Heart ® finalist makes for much speedier replies.)

At least they weren’t all negative: Each one featured good with the bad. They both had an element of “I like you but …”

The bottom line? “Beauty and the Ballplayer” wasn’t quite right for either of them. The hero and heroine didn’t speak to them. (Whether that’s an inherent flaw in the MS is up for debate. I might have some revising to do.)

In the meantime, I’ll continue the search for Dream Agent. Somewhere, out there, is my perfect match … the agent who believes in my work as much as I do.

Distraction 8, Arlene 2

That’s right: Distraction is whupping my rear in a big way these days. If there’s a down side to being a Golden Heart® finalist, that would be it.

Until recently, I had a routine: A little writing/blogging before and/or after work. Now, with all the new and ramped-up tasks on my to-do list, I spend way too  much of my time trying to focus on any one thing.

And the task at hand is rarely writing.

This morning, it was updating my website. I just switched from wordpress.com to wordpress.org so I can make better use of the arlenehittle.com domain name I purchased last year.

While it was relatively easy to make the change, I still have to rebuild a lot of things, like my blogroll. I also must figure out how to get a cool stats tracker in my dashboard and get on the phone with the webhosting folks to figure out how to configure my computer … I kept getting an error message involving a firewall and it was like it was written in Russian. I’m not even sure where to find my firewall.

Yesterday morning, I managed to write a couple hundred words. On Sunday I eked out a full thousand … and then decided to scrap them all and start the scene in a different place.

I’ve heard other writers say that they spend very little of their time actually writing new stories. I now know exactly how they feel.

Well, it’s off to accomplish something before bed.

Arlene Hittle, 2011 RWA Golden Heart® Finalist

This is an exciting time for me. My manuscript, Beauty and the Ballplayer, was just named a finalist in the 2011 RWA Golden Heart® contest.

About Beauty and the Ballplayer:

Spunky and independent to a fault, graphic designer Meg Malone isn’t exactly crushed when she finds herself pregnant soon after her no-good boyfriend abandons her to hit the professional poker circuit. After being burned one too many times by women who see him as their ticket to the good life, up-and-coming minor league catcher Matt Thatcher carefully guards his heart against “baseball babes.”

When Matt first meets Meg, he likes that she has no clue what he does for a living; she’s attracted to his solid, stable presence (and his killer bod). As they get to know one another, Matt lets Meg in on his profession and into his life. When he accepts her, baby and all, Meg sets aside her doubts about falling for another dreamer and loves him wholeheartedly — until he misses a doctor’s appointment with her to further his career. Not wanting to come in second to another man’s unattainable dream of going pro, she cuts and runs before Matt can leave her. By the time she realizes her fear of abandonment could cost her a lifetime of happiness, she’s afraid it’s too late. Meg has to hit her insecurities out of the ballpark to win the World Series of love.

About me: I am a member of Romance Writers of America, both nationally and locally and am currently serving as editor of our chapter’s newsletter. I also have a B.S. in journalism from the University of Evansville and have worked in the newspaper industry as a reporter or copy editor/page designer since 1994.

Follow me on Twitter: @arlenehittle

E-mail me: ahittle90 [at] gmail [dot] com

My mother would be proud

While celebrating my Golden Heart® finalist status in one of many phone calls over the weekend, my friend Pat said something that made me tear up a little. She said my mother would be proud.

That’s true. My mom, an English teacher before I came along, always encouraged me to write. When she died in 2003, I hadn’t yet accomplished anything in the fiction world (although I do think she watched me receive a first-place award from the Indiana Society of Professional Journalists for a series of stories on students peeved about a high school’s piercing policy).

Since her death, I’ve lost 100 pounds (and, unfortunately, regained most of it). I’ve found myself a significant other. I’ve finished more than one manuscript and — finally — gained the courage to start putting my fiction out there.

I experienced a moment of sadness that Mom didn’t live to see this moment. But I like to think she knows. Somehow, she knows … just like she knows I sit down and watch one of her favorite movies, “A Christmas Story,” at least once every year. (She grew up in Hammond, Ind., on the street Ralphie supposedly lived on.)

Still on Cloud Nineteen

Yeah, I’m saying there has to be something higher than Cloud Nine, and I’m on it. I am a 2011 Golden Heart finalist. I’ve been fielding congratulatory calls, tweets and e-mails all day — and I’m glad to get them.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve thought to myself “OMG, OMG, OMG” today. Good thing they just added that phrase to the dictionary, eh?

The GH final wasn’t the only piece of good news I received today. I also found out that “Beauty and the Ballplayer” won the Beacon contest, too. And the final judge/agent requested a full MS. I’ll be getting right on that, contacting her Monday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See? I’m not imagining all this good fortune. It’s really happening!

I’ve been writing off and on since I finished my first draft of my first MS back in 1995 or 96, but I’ve gotten serious about it in the past two years. I entered the GH for the first time in 2010; my entry earned solidly mediocre scores. This year I entered two (in series contemporary and single title contemporary) and finaled once.

You can find a full list of Golden Heart® and RITA® finalists here. (I’m excited to have found the ® symbol I’ve been instructed to use in reference to the GH and RWA.) It was nice to see so many familiar Ruby sisters (from my adopted GH class of 2009) on the lists.

There’s so much to think about, though. The Boyfriend said, “What’s next?” Well, the most immediate concern is getting a flattering headshot by April 8. I also need to find a way to pay the conference registration fee/airfare/hotel, and think about business cards. And I need to update my website … and take a “crafting the perfect pitch” workshop so I’m ready to meet with agents/editors at Nationals.

Simply put, I need to ramp up my writing efforts while remaining grounded enough to hold onto the day job … and start a new diet to lose weight before July.

None of these things are impossible tasks. I’m just thankful to be faced with such dilemmas.

The Golden phone call

My phone woke me up — and this time, it was THE call … well, the call that I’m a Golden Heart finalist, at least.

“Beauty and the Ballplayer” finaled in the contemporary series category.

More later, since I’m sure this is the beginning of a long, wild ride!

My immediate dilemma: How can I get a flattering headshot for the Jumbotron? Well, I do work with a bunch of photographers. Maybe one of them will be up to the task.