Things my mother taught me

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there.

As you might know, my mother’s no longer with us. She died in 2003. That was 11 years ago? Wow. It doesn’t seem possible that she’s been gone so long.

Maybe that’s because I always carry her with me, courtesy of all the lessons she taught me over the years.

Mom
At their engagement party. My brother thinks Dad has a bit of a Conan O’Brien look going on.

Before I was born, my mom taught English and math—to high school students. I can’t imagine. Seems like they’d be the worst age to handle, with all the raging hormones, overwrought teen drama and bad attitude. But she seemed to have liked it—and her students seemed to have fond memories of her, too. (I went to school with a lot of the kids of the kids she taught.)

Among her lessons:

1. Reading is fun.

I can’t count the number of times I saw my mom with a book. She was always reading, everything from classic Updike to Danielle Steel. It was the influence of her and my dad, another voracious reader, that got me reading at age 4. My parents read all the time and I wanted to be like them, so they taught me to sound it out.

ButterCookies6-764x1024
Naked butter cookies.

2. Butter cookies rule.

There are two types of people in the world: Sugar cooke folks and butter cookie fans. Our family falls into the latter category. Mom’s butter cookie recipe, which she got from her mom (who apparently shared it with Kelly Ripa), is flaky, crisp and just sweet enough.

About Kelly Ripa: I’ll never forget Mom calling me, excited because Kelly made her family’s favorite Christmas cookies on her show—and it was mom’s recipe that she shared. I guess Grandma got it off a box of butter or something?

Every year, after Mom baked the cookies (which I now know is a pain in the butt, rolling out the dough and cutting the shapes), she’d frost them while my brother and I decorated with sprinkles, colored sugar and other fun toppings. (My fave was the tiny candies shaped like flowers.)

3. Live life—and attack problems—with humor.

This is probably the biggie. My mother had a great sense of humor. She was the mom who sat in the back of the band bus and told jokes, or sat around the Girl Scout campfire telling funny stories.

She laughed a lot, and was first to deflect sadness with a joke or smile. Er, actually my whole family is like that. I remember when Dad died, my brother, cousins and I broke from the funeral home for pizza, and laughed jokes and funny stories until our sides ached.

Laugh through the tears, I guess.

Wikipedia tells me it was Ella Wheeler Wilcox, a Wisconsinite, who wrote “laugh and the world laughs with you.”

 

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;

Weep, and you weep alone.

For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth

But has trouble enough of its own.

— From “The Way of the World,” a poem (1883)

That may well be—but my mother lived it.

I, for one, am glad, because I got my sense of humor from her. I’m quick to laugh and I crack jokes at what some people might call inappropriate times.

Every time a line in one of my books makes a reader laugh out loud, I hope she hears it and knows that she had a hand in making the world a happier place.

August is National Read-A-Romance Month

reader-badge-2-pinkI was a reader of romances long before I started writing them.

I remember plowing through the stacks of Harlequin and Silhouette books Mom would bring home from the library, secured with a rubber band. (Apparently, the library thought bundles were more appealing.) My couch potato self spent many a lazy Saturday devouring two or three category-length titles in one sitting.

As I got older, the romance reading continued. With each book I finished, so did the conviction that I needed to be writing romance. I’d close a book and think, “I could write that. I could write something better than that.”

Ah, the overconfidence of the uneducated. Turns out that writing one — a good one, at least — is much harder than it looked.

But once I started trying, I never looked back. I moved from Indiana to Arizona in 1999, and in 2001 won a radio station’s “dinner with a romance writer” contest. That’s when I met Rita Rainville, then a member of  NARWA. I started attending the group’s meetings, joined RWA and discovered just how much I had to learn about writing romance.

Finally, in 2011, I snagged the coveted title of Golden Heart finalist … a sure sign I was mastering the craft. I was on the verge of the big payoff — publication. Still, it eluded me until this year.

Nowadays, it seems that I spend most of my free time writing romance instead of reading it. Whenever I get a few minutes not consumed by the dreaded day job, I feel the need to devote it to writing.

But August is National Read-A-Romance Month, not Write-A-Romance Month. That begs the question: “Why do I read romance?”

When I started reading them in middle school, I most likely read as a way to pass time. There’s not much to do in rural Indiana. I’m sure I also read for the sex ed. So much more fun — and informative — than health class. (Am I the only one who wondered what the guys were learning when they were sent to another room while we girls watched the same damn menstruation movie three years running?)

Of course, I could have passed time reading any kind of book. And did. I read a lot of Stephen King as a high school freshman. Then, my sophomore year, I discovered Anne Rice and devoured everything of hers I could get my hands on.

Still, I kept going back to romance. Those are the stories that draw me in and leave me satisfied. I’m not happy unless the characters get the ending they deserve. That’s one thing that drove me crazy when I read Gone Girl. The book was a real page-turner, but no one got what was coming to them in that book. (Link takes you to my weight-loss blog.)

Romance offers that happy ending. It allows the characters the happily-ever-after ending they need. I’d much rather see folks I’ve come to know and love get what they deserve.

Kristan Higgins, one of my favorite writers, put it much more succinctly in her post Monday. We read romance for the hope.

Most people in life don’t transform, don’t have a clearly delineated character arc that blossoms in the space of a few weeks or months as the outer goal is accomplished. That’s what makes a romance novel so gratifying, and uplifting…and hopeful. They did it. They’re our role models, and it doesn’t matter if they’re fictional, so long as they walk the walk of someone who was stuck, and afraid to try something different, and risked it all for love…and triumphed.

Do yourself a favor and read her entire post. It’s excellent — and just another reason to love Kristan.

I still remember the few minutes we chatted in the elevator at RWA Nationals in NYC in 2011. Me, a nervous first-time conference attendee, wearing my GH finalist ribbon and completely overwhelmed by the whole experience. Her, lovely and gracious and …

Okay, I mostly remember that we were staying on the same floor. I told her I loved her books. We commiserated over how the experts said rom-com is dead and declared we actually wrote funny contemporary romance … or something like that.

Long live the funny contemporary! And long live romance. May it continue to offer everything readers need.

Making a dent in the ol’ TBR pile?

A new theory has been simmering in my brain for the last few weeks. Want to hear it?

Of course you do. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be reading my blog, right?

Authors — and readers — have TBR piles. More likely than not, they’re towering TBR piles that threaten to topple over because we’re adding to them much faster than we take things away.

Or is that just me?

My theory is this: Pinterest boards are to recipes what TBR piles are to books.

I don’t remember exactly how long ago I joined Pinterest, but I can tell you that I’ve been pinning recipes like a champ ever since: I have about 575 recipes on 14 recipe-themed boards.

I started with a generic “Food ideas” board, soon realizing that I needed to break things down further if I ever expected to find anything. So now I have separate categories for low-carb recipes, breakfast ideas, smoothies, sweets, vegetarian chow, paleo eats, holiday favorites … pretty much any category you can think of. And I add to them every time I visit Pinterest.

In fact, when I hopped over to count how many recipes I’ve pinned, I found two more to add. You can check out my boards here, if you’re so inclined.

These recipe boards are a lot like my TBR pile — full of things I want to make/eat/read someday … in the distant future … if I ever find the time.

Maybe I should institute a new rule: Every time I finish a book, I have to try a new recipe — and vice versa. That’d give me a chance to make a dent in both stashes.

Are you a pinner? Do you have more ideas bookmarked than you can possibly get through?

 

How many of these banned classics have you read?

Source: The American Library Association

With Sept. 30-Oct. 6 being Banned Books Week, I want to go on the record: People — of all ages — should be able to read what they want. Yes, even those poorly written “Fifty Shades” books, if that’s what keeps them turning the pages.

It’s not so important what they read, just as long as they’re reading. Of course I’d like them to read well-written, expertly crafted tales (like mine!). But what matters is that they’re engrossed in something that allows them to escape their reality, exposes them to new ideas or just plain entertains them and keeps them out of trouble.

Besides,  even the classics have their critics — a reality that not only baffles me, but riles me up and honks me off. We write because we have stories we need to share. Who is someone else to say, “Your story offends me so no one should have the chance to read it”?

Among the wealth of information on the American Library Association’s Banned Books Week website is this list of banned or challenged classics.

I’ve organized them into categories: Books I’ve read, books I want to read, books I have no interest in and ones I’ve never even heard of. (Thank goodness only a few of them ended up on that list!)

No matter where they fall on my list, try to imagine what our lives would be without them.

Read (many for a class, some for “fun,” when I had time for that kind of thing)

  1. The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald
  2. The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger
  3. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
  4. Beloved, by Toni Morrison
  5. The Lord of the Flies, by William Golding
  6. 1984, by George Orwell
  7. Of Mice and Men, by John Steinbeck
  8. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley
  9. Their Eyes Were Watching God, by Zora Neale Hurston
  10. Gone with the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell (One of my all-time favorite books. I read it for the first time in 7th grade and for years wanted to live in a restored Ga. plantation house with my three cats, a tiger-striped one named Scarlett, a black one named Rhett and a white one named Ashley.)
  11. The Call of the Wild, by Jack London
  12. The Satanic Verses, by Salman Rushdie
  13. A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess
  14. A Separate Peace, by John Knowles
  15. An American Tragedy, by Theodore Dreiser

Want to read (if I ever have time)

  1. The Color Purple, by Alice Walker
  2. Lolita, by Vladmir Nabokov
  3. Animal Farm, by George Orwell
  4. Invisible Man, by Ralph Ellison
  5. Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut
  6. The Jungle, by Upton Sinclair
  7. Lady Chatterley’s Lover, by D.H. Lawrence
  8. The Awakening, by Kate Chopin
  9. In Cold Blood, by Truman Capote
  10. Sons and Lovers, by D.H. Lawrence
  11. Women in Love, by D.H. Lawrence
  12. Tropic of Cancer, by Henry Miller  (Wasn’t there a “Seinfeld” episode featuring this one? George still had the book he checked out from his high school library …)
  13. Rabbit, Run, by John Updike (This book, along with other “Rabbit” books, graced my parents’ bookshelf in the living room when I was a kid, but — unlike some of Mom’s other books — I never stole it off the shelf to read it.)

Sorry, not interested

  1. The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck  (Tried to read it in high school, but could not get through it)
  2. Ulysses, by James Joyce
  3. Catch-22, by Joseph Heller
  4. The Sun Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway
  5.  As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner
  6. A Farewell to Arms, by Ernest Hemingway
  7. Song of Solomon, by Toni Morrison
  8. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, by Ken Kesey (I watched the movie because I read Brad Pitt said he loved it, and — despite my love for Brad Pitt, hated it)
  9. For Whom the Bell Tolls, by Ernest Hemingway
  10. All the King’s Men, by Robert Penn Warren
  11. The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien  (Blasphemy, I know.)
  12. Sophie’s Choice, by William Styron
  13. Brideshead Revisited, by Evelyn Waugh

Never heard of it (showing my ignorance, I’m sure)

  1. Native Son, by Richard Wright
  2. Go Tell it on the Mountain, by James Baldwin
  3. Cat’s Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut
  4.  Naked Lunch, by William S. Burroughs
  5. The Naked and the Dead, by Norman Mailer

Rediscovering the joy of reading

Everyone says writers need to read anything and everything they can get their hands on.

I’m sure they’re right. When I was younger, my nose was always buried in a book. Reading was my favorite free-time activity.

Nowadays, with a full-time job and a Boyfriend, I have a lot less free time. The time I do have tends to be devoted to things like cooking, eating or playing online. Most of my reading is confined to blogs. A few of them deal with writing, but since I’m still trying to lose about 50 pounds, the majority are healthy living blogs.

As a result, I know about 500 workout tips and 1,002 different ways to make oatmeal — good for my diet/health, but it doesn’t do much for my creativity.

The precious little time I have left after working and taking care of the business of life, I tend to want to spend writing my own books, not reading someone else’s. Sure, I tweet my #FridayReads when I think about it — but if you’re paying attention, you’ll notice I often  tweet the same book several weeks straight.

But with so many of my Starcatcher sisters’ stories hitting the market, there are a lot of great new reads I don’t want to miss. I’d start naming some of them, but I’m afraid I’d miss too many. We’re a talented group.

With e-readers putting books at my fingertips 24/7, there’s no excuse not to read them. I already own a Nook, and I finally broke down and put the Kindle app on my phone, too. Now I can download some of the free books tweeted by some of the authors I follow.

Since downloading the Kindle app, I’ve devoured GH winner Laurie Kellogg’s “A Little Bit of Deja Vu” and am more than halfway through Juli Alexander’s “My Life as the Ugly Stepsister.”

I’ve been sneaking a few pages while standing in line at the grocery store and bank, or while I’m in the bathroom at work. (Shh … don’t tell.)

Now that I’m reading books as often as blogs, I look forward to crossing a lot more titles off my TBR list. You can follow my reads — and my progress on the 2012 reading challenge — on Goodreads. (I originally set a goal of 26 books for the year, but now that I’ve rediscovered the joy of reading, I hope to read a lot more than that.)

You tell me: Fifty Shades of Grey

Twitter is abuzz. Bloggers are raving. Last night I read a story on a mainstream wire service talking it up. (I’m debating whether I can get away with running it on our books page without causing an uproar.)

What has everyone so hot and bothered? “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

I enjoy a good, steamy story as much as the next gal. And the article did an excellent job of making the book sound intriguing.

However, I’ve also heard/read that it got its start as “Twilight” fan fiction. Since I couldn’t get through any of the “Twilight” books, that makes me leery.

Hold onto your rotten tomatoes, please, and save your breath. You’ll never change my mind about Bella and company.

But I will take your advice, writer friends, about “Fifty Shades of Grey.” What say you? Should I spend valuable free time reading it or give it (and its sequels) a miss?

Venturing into romantic suspense

… Not writing it, thank goodness. Although I love watching “Dateline” and other true-crime shows on Investigation Discovery (“Deadly Women,” anyone?), I don’t think I have the chops to write RS. Keeping that thread of danger running throughout isn’t for me.

However, I can enjoy reading romantic suspense, when I’m in a certain mood. (That’s the way I am with historicals, too. I love to read them when I’m in the mood.) And I have just the book to put me in that mood: NARWA president Anne Marie Becker’s new Carina Press release, “Only Fear.”

The blurb:

After a violent incident with a patient leaves scars on both her mind and body, psychiatrist Dr. Maggie Levine craves isolation. A radio talk show host seems to be the perfect profession, a job where she can help people from a distance while staying safe. When a strange caller begins stalking her on the air and murdering people to get her attention, Maggie realizes she can no longer close herself off from the outside world.

A personal security expert, former Secret Service Agent Ethan Townsend is no stranger to tracking down the most violent monsters of society and bringing them to justice. Still, it will take all of Ethan’s skills to protect his new assignment, the irresistible Maggie, from a man intent on teaching her the ultimate lesson in fear…

Sounds intriguing, right?

“Only Fear” stands alone, but is the first book in a planned series revolving around the employees of the Society for the Study of the Aberrant Mind (SSAM).

“I was excited to hear that Carina Press would like to work with me on the series I have planned. We’ve even come up with a name: the Mindhunters,” Anne Marie said.

She hopes to have the second book in the series, tentatively titled “Avenging Angel,” submitted by the end of September for a summer 2012 release.

You can order “Only Fear” at Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Carina Press.

Connect with Anne Marie:

Twitter: @annemariebecker
Facebook:  AnneMarieBeckerAuthor
Blogs:  Not Your Usual Suspects (Carina Press suspense authors): www.notyourusualsuspects.blogspot.com and The Ruby Slippered Sisterhood:  www.rubyslipperedsisterhood.com
image

Reading habits exposed

image
This is only part of my TBR pile ...

Today, we’re going to delve into all your dirty little secrets — reading secrets, that is.

When Gwen Hernandez, one of my Starcatcher sisters, posted about sometimes not finishing a book she’s started, it got me thinking.

Her argument against slogging through something she’s not into:

Why waste valuable hours reading a book I don’t enjoy?

It makes complete sense. As we all know, there are only so many hours in the day. When we’re trying to write, work out, cook, tend to the day job  — and families if we have them — it leaves precious little leisure time for reading.

Yet I’m one of those people who slogs through every book I start. It may take me a while to pull it off my TBR pile, but once I have a book in my hand, I finish the darn thing. Even if it takes me a month … or I’d rather be visiting the dentist than reading it …

I’m not sure where this attitude comes from. Maybe it’s a remnant from my college days, when reading was my job. As a journalism major who took a lot of English lit and creative writing classes, I read tons. Even the semester I spent in England, when I probably should have been focused on exploring a foreign country, I took a full course load that included French lit, Literature and Politics, and Shakespeare. (I couldn’t pass up the chance to take a class on Shakespeare in England, from a British prof, now could I?)

Maybe it’s just what I refer to as my good, old-fashioned Midwestern work ethic. I also can’t call in sick when I’m not really sick. Heck, I work even when I’m sick … I have to be in bed, unable to move, before I throw in the towel and take a sick day.

Whatever the reason, I finish the books I start. It’s a good thing, then, that I tend to only start books I know I’ll enjoy. I usually stick with contemporary and historical romances, with the occasional weighty  book club pick.

Hmm. Now that I think about it, I can’t say I always finish the books I start. Sometimes I don’t finish my book club selections. Case in point: “Edgar Sawtelle.” I don’t care if it was one of Oprah’s picks, I didn’t like it. Too lyrical— and it was obviously heading toward a bad end, seeing as it was a modern retelling of “Hamlet” (one of my favorite Shakespeare plays, by the way.) Trudy and Claude? Please.

How about you? Do you finish the books you start? Or do you refuse to waste time on books that don’t hold your interest?

I want to know!

It’s a disease

My computer was giving me fits Saturday night, so I spent the time I should have been writing today cleaning out my car.

What can I say? Procrastination is a disease. 😉

I’m fighting a bigger disease, though. After decluttering my car, I took a bunch of the books I’d accumulated to the used bookstore. I decided that, as much as I might want to, I’m never going to have time to read certain books — so they might as well not continue to clutter up my living space.

While I waited for the staff to evaluate my offering, I browsed — where else — in the romance section. Big mistake. I found not one, but two books to add to my already massive TBR pile. (And, with time and an unlimited budget,  I probably could have found several more.)

So even though I got rid of about five books, I ended up adding two more to my stacks.

I also spent a couple hours last night browsing on my Nook, adding books to my e-wish list for the next time I have money to go on a buying spree.

I already have enough reading material to last me for years — especially at the rate I’m reading these days, and I’m browsing for more?

It’s a disease, I tell you. A terrible, wonderful disease. I can’t wait to go to RWA Nationals, because I hear there are free books up for grabs.

What’s a few more books added to my TBR pile, right? I’ll have time to read them … someday.

Approaching rapidly

Jan. 10 will be here before I know it. That means it’s time to craft my goals for the Ruby Slippered Sisterhood Winter Writing Festival.

But before I do that, I feel a need to create some writing resolutions for 2011.

2010 was a very successful year for me. I wrote more than 180,000 words, entered the Golden Heart in not one but two categories, successfully completed the NaNoWriMo with a 53,000-word story and scored my first-ever contest final.

In 2011, I want to build on that success and keep the momentum going. After all, I’m now less than a year away from the big 4-0 (the arbitrary date I set for myself to get published).

But how? That’s a very good question. I wish I knew the answer — but I don’t. All I can do is try to set some goals for myself.

Keep writing. I wrote 180K+ in year because I sat down to write most days. I can’t say every day, mind you. However, I did write more often than not. I treated writing like a day job … a part-time one, at least. I took myself to Starbucks (where, until July, I did not have access to the Internet. Am I the only one who thinks free WiFi at the Bux is a bad idea?)

Continue my search for the right agent. At our last NARWA meeting, I stated the intention to send out at least two queries a week. Hopefully my agent search will become easier in April, after I final in the Golden Heart. (A girl’s nothing without her dreams, right?) Speaking of GH dreams, I already requested the week of Nationals as a vacation week so I can go when I final. 😉

— Finish the first draft on Beth & Cody’s story.

— Edit Kenny & Kristi, my NaNo novel. I started reading through it again last week and still thought it was excellent … meaning, of course, I haven’t been away from it long enough to see its flaws yet.

— Take at least two online classes/workshops this year, so I can can continue to hone the craft.

Read more. Writers read. Conventional wisdom says you should read as many books in your genre as you can get your hands on. Now that I’m concentrating so much energy on writing, I don’t read nearly as much as I used to. BW (before writing), I could devour two to three books a week. Now, I’m lucky to finish two a month.

Hopefully, that will change soon. The Boyfriend is getting me an e-reader for Christmas. I’m hoping access to cheaper books will encourage me to read more. (Then again, I have shelves full of still-unread books, and that hasn’t been an encouragement. It just adds to the clutter in my room.)

Build up this blog. My weight-loss blog is moderately successful, even if my weight-loss efforts have faltered. It’s doing so well that I pulled in more than 1,000 hits for two of the last 12 months. Love & Laughter, on the other hand, gets between 100 and 150.

One big difference is posting frequency. Here, I’ve been lucky to post once a week. There, I sometimes put up multiple entries in a single day.

Any other suggestions for me? What about you? What are YOUR 2011 writing goals?